Gay problems

Dear diary... haha get it cause this is a diary, kind of; the timing was definitely better when I thought about it in my head a few seconds ago. Anyways this is what's bothering be, and has been bothering me for the past 2 days I've been working on this website. I ♥ this website. It's an artworks to me in and of itself. Usually my friends are pretty hype about my art, which is really awesome cause it's nice to be appreciated. But I feel like my friends don't give a single flying fuck about this website and that really sucks! Especially because I feel so passionate about it. Of course it should be noted that I'm particularly crazy about websites, web design, CSS, graphic design all that stuff in general, so my passion will always be disproportionate, but even my friends that usually care about that autistic shit don't seem to care as much as I want them to.

It's always weird having overwhelming feeling about stuff at all, being autistic and all. Though, for what it's worth, feeling emotional about websites isn't foreign to me so it's easier for me to understand why I'm upset. Don't get me wrong, I always get upset when I feel my work is genuinely underappreciated. That's why I quit instagram for a while. The majority of what I make right now, I make for myself. But part of what I love about the internet and websites and art, and something I also practice myself with great love and passion, is sharing and hoarding. Thus, the idea of my art being collected, shared and hoarded is possibly the biggest honour ever to me. Which is why I do care if not about being appreciated, at least about my art being seen. Because I know what sharing and having access to art means to me.

Let me reiterate, it means a lot to me. Like, a lot a lot. I don't know why I am this way but webdesign can make me cry pretty easily. The reason why I made this site in the first place is because I was just kinda looking up old myspace lay-outs for fun and I found SO MANY on this old lay-out sharing website and each one of them made me so unimaginably emotional. I have like 20 of them saved locally. Thing is, after that I started looking up those lay-outs on Deviantart and I happened across like so many awesome artists on there, so that definitely made me cry. Even tried reaching out to some of them, despite the work in question being like 12+ years old, so half those people aren't even on the web anymore (This is one of my biggest gripes ever and it makes me extremely upset). Anyways, that's probably why I'm so upset right now.

You know what sucks even more? The fact they'll definitely never read this XD.

13 april 2026