Big retarded mistake

I might have just genuinely fucked myself over but I don't give a shit anymore. Like at all. I'm going to spend the next two weeks absolutely wired. I'm going to abuse the fuck out of my medication. I'm not going to eat or sleep or talk to people and I'm probably going to start cutting myself again and I'm going to do all of that to spite my professors and to punish myself for being enough of a retard to fuck this up. If I fail my thesis I'm genuinely going to commit suicide. I've made plenty of jokes about this, but as of writing this I hope I find the balls to kill myself if this does end up happening. The only thing I'm worried about is not being committed to suicide. Haha I'm really funny. I'm probably the most distressed I'll ever be. No of course I'm not. If I end up making it I'll be way more stressed 'cause that's what being a lawyer is all about.

I know that bitch is going to judge me for this to. I'm probably gonna fail just because I sent this fucking e-mail. They're gonna see how unimaginably retarded I am and fail me on the basis of that: me being stressed out and retarded. YES IM FUCKING AUTISTIC OH MY GOD. I'M SO AUTISTIC PLEASE GO JUST NOTICE THAT ONCE. I AM SPECIAL NEEDS I AM AUTISTIC I AM MENTALLY DISABJREWHJ45BE RTHJTB HJEI4TBV5JIP4TBHJ923BW4IJPHBHJIP4IBJIPNJ KILL ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KILL ME NOW OH MY GOD KILL ME. I really want to kill myself so bad. Im really gonna do it. That one was a reference.

I feel so empty now I don't even want to do anything anymore. I don't want to be depressed I don't give a shit anymore. Like I don't care about being depressed anymore.

22 april 2026